shannypinkpoo

i dont think i want to leave this place.

i absolutely cannot wait to go back to school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg...TEN DAYS! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

so...i've been home for a week and 2 days.

julianne came home with me and was here until thursday...we had a good time-just hung out, visited laura and cara in providence, slept a lot...blah blah. anyway, i miss that girl SO much it's not even funny. everything would be fine if i knew that she was coming back to HC next year, but the fact that she isnt makes me so freaking sad.

home, in general, kinda sucks. i CANT wait to go back to school. im working with my dad this summer, which is just sooooo tiring and makes me so sore, my parents will NOT stop arguing about money, and let's see... what else? i'm BORED! there's nothing that great to do in bethel, ct. i have a feeling that these 3 1/2 months are going to go by so so soooooooo slowly.

it's a really really good thing that i'm going to bermuda, hh, and reno cuz i would not be very happy just being home. grrr.............oh well.

i dont want to go home. i dont want to go home. i dont want to go hoooooooooooome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just came to that conclusion, like 2 days ago. the sooner we go home, the sooner my time with my best friend ends, and that sucks so fucking badly. i know ill survive next year, but college is not going to be even close to the same experience without this girl. GOD, im going to miss her. she's coming home with me for like a week after finals are over, and i have a feeling it's going to be an incredibly bittersweet week. like seriously, how can she just leave me like this? grrrr........ everything will work out. i hope i hope!

anyway, weve had a couple hospital trips in the past week. first off, i was stupid and hit my head and got ONE stitch. lol. then, my friend's friend got transported which was a very very bad experience. so, tomorrow night is our last "fun" night before our freshman year of college ends. this means that we arent going to have any bad experiences whatsoever...i sweeeeeeearrr! then i have a spanish oral exam on monday as well as a paper due, my calc final on wed., and my chem final on thurs. and that's it!! i'm happy work is going to be over, but i dont really want to leave this place.

oh well. i think im going to dinner. peace out.

well. the past couple of weeks have been really really good...
minus failing my chem quiz.

but, i'm just really happy. i have so many crushes right now, and it just feels soooo good to be able to completely move on!! wahooooooo. it's a bit sad that we are no longer friends, but i'm learning how to not care from him...he's really good at that. seriously, i don't care. it's amazing. :-)

what else? one more full week of classes, then study week!!!! which does NOT mean studying. i am so over school right now, but i don't exactly want to go home. i kinda want to just stay here and partay. i don't know. i did really want to go home like 2 weeks ago, but now i really like school again. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

i hope life is going well for everyone.

so i am officially writing off some people...

sooooooooooo... it's the end of st. patty's day weekend and i am a very happy girl. this weekend has been an absolute and total blast!! i hope everybody else had as good of a couple days as i did because right now i'm in the best mood EVAAAAAA! wahoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! AND, i didnt make any bad decisions. very good thing. yayyyy for st. p's day!

life is soooooooooooo good.

this weekend was a lot of fun:
friday- just hung out and "studied"
saturday- cara, nicole, and i woke up early and went into boston for the entire day. we got there at like 11am and didnt get back to HC until 12:30am. it was a ton of fun- we met up with a ton of different people and all got to meet each others friends. jason happened to be visiting justin, so he met up with us for dinner and then came back to HC with us. it was really good to see him- i love seeing people from home.
sunday- said goodbye to jason and then studied like crazy (kind of...) for orgo.

OVERALL: A+ weekend!

this morning i had my orgo test at 8am, and i actually think it went pretty well considering the major lack of studying that happened.

im feeling really happy lately. very nice change!! back to my old happy, bouncy self.

OOOOOOOH MAN. 4 more freaking days, and then i'm going to be in hilton head with my fam for an entire week. i cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well that's about it. yaayyyy for everything being grrrreat.

my hair is so flippity dippity STRAIGHT! aah. i love it, and i love my new hair cut. annnnnd, i like my manicure and my new cute v's secret panties. such a fun day with ma, jenn, and cam. i LOOOOOVE being home so much.






but..... stuff still feels unresolved, and nothing- not even a manicure, shopping, and a hair cut- can make me feel better about that.

i've never not been able to answer questions regarding my beliefs and what kind of person i am... but lately, i just dont know. i guess everyone has to go through this, but it just sucks majorly. so much crappy stuff has been happening the past couple of weeks. i seriously did not get out of my bed until 6:00pm today. oh well. i get to go home next weekend, AND i convinced jenna to go home too. i cant freaking wait. i just need to be home right now, with my family. just gotta get through one week of these anxious feelings and then hopefully i can get my mind off of this stupid crap.

upon request, this entry is going to be dedicated to my amazing friends here at hc.

1. nicole. nicole is always happy and always upbeat even when some pretty crappy stuff is going down. she is one of the nicest and most sympathetic people you will EVER meet. also, she's always there for her friends even when she has a shitload of work to do. whenever anyone is down in the dumps and feeling sad she makes us feel better by saying, "it's totally cool. don't even worry about it!" some of her amazing catch phrases include: "guys, let's G-O!" "sci-lib" "H to the two O" "yahyuh" as you can see, she's really a very cool person. lol.

2. julianne. juuuuulianne is my partner in crime. we dont necessarily plan it, but we ALWAYS have very crazy times when we're together... especially when we add a little alkie to the mix. we are in all of the same classes, have the same study habits, sleeping habits, and every other kind of habits, and we are the masters of procrastination. we basically like to have a lot of fun and then laugh about it later. julianne is one awesome chica- she'll be very blunt with you, but i need some practicality in my life- so it's a good thing. also, she's my only friend at hc who isnt from the east coast.

3. cara. cara is one tough cookie. she doesnt let anyone mess with her. ever. i tried to learn to be more independent just like her, but i think my dependance rubbed off on her instead. cara and i dont really like to study, instead we like to teach jackie how to walk with confidence the night before our chem final. also, we're both a bit on the messy side- going three days without a shower is totally okay with us, as is leaving a dirty mug around for a week. cara keeps me pretty grounded and tells me when i'm being a brat. she also tries to bring out my very small athletic side by making me go to the gym... like twice, and trying to explain the rules of football to me. yaaaaah cara!

4. liz. liz does a lot of funny things and doesnt think that anyone is watching, but i always end up seeing them. she makes me laugh sooooooooooo hard. also, she always goes along with my crazy plans and shenanigans- she's ALWAYS up for a good time. funny story about liz: she has a lofted bed, and after a night of partying, she fell out of it!! hahahahahaha! this is just one incident that adds some humor to our daily lives. without liz, our fun wouldnt be possible. another thing- she's willing to go to calc extra help for an hour, and then relay the info. on to the rest of the group, just so we dont have to go. thanks for being cool liz.

5. jackie. i like jackie a lot. she knits, and watches general hospital, and makes me listen to crappy music, and yells at me to clean mugs, BUT she always takes care of me!! whether i'm puking or have a headache, or need my laundry done, or need a cup of water... she's always there to get it for me. jackie's kinda like my second mom. she doesnt sleep when she doesnt know where i am, and she thinks i'm kidnapped about twice a week. buuuut. i LOVE jackie! YAY JACKIE!!!!!!!!

i dont feel like writing this anymore... so i'm not going to talk about anyone else.

BYE!

it's amazing what a new day can do!

what have i done?

shiiiiiit. i am not like this- what's happening to me?

what in the world is wrong with you?!?!? stop freaking playing around with your "friends". it's really not nice.

from now on, i need you to go away completely and totally. 100% gone. then again, that shouldn't be too difficult for you.

i'm actually pretty glad that i just confirmed things because now i can really let go.

last night was really dumb and not as much fun as it should have been. new year's eve.. woopdifreakingdo. oooooh well. so, nicole, cara, and i just figured out logistical stuff for the WINTER BREAK HC REUNION!! at first, i thought the whole thing was going to fall through, but then we figured out everything to make it work, and i swear i couldn't be more excited!! as much as i love home and love the few people that i've been hanging out with, i really miss my holycrossers... our crazy parties and just crazy stories. it's weird because at home i feel like i've never left high school, but then at college it's a whole different story. it's like two completely different worlds. and i realized that even though i went to college and kinda changed my whole outlook on things, that doesn't mean that i can just change everything i've ever known here in ct. so.. yah. it was a good realization. but i cant wait for my friends to invade ct and for us to party it up in nyc!! aaah! yay.

krista's party was a swell time- nice talking with my bethel buddies. i'm leaving for new hampshire tomorrow to ski with dad, uncle mike, zac, and mary jo!! i can't freaking wait. it'll feel really good to get my mind off of certain stupid things and enjoy some wonderful time with the family. i exercised today with jenn.. did a couple of miles on the tred and lifted some weights and did some crunches. man was it extremely painful! overall, i've just been feeling weird about some stuff, like i need to figure out some "me things". oh well.. just gotta keep chugging along.

i feel better now! :-)

I OFFICIALLY HAVE GIVEN UP ON THE ENTIRE MALE RACE! thank you.